Mix-up

Two thirds of the yard is in desperate need of mowing, and so I donned my mowing shoes (i.e., green and not coming clean) a few minutes ago and sprayed myself to keep the bugs away. Where biting insects are concerned, I am delectable - thin, fair skin, easy blood. I had sprayed my ankles and calves and my waist where my shirt sometimes rides up. Just as I prepared to wipe the stuff over my arms, I noted something wrong. I didn’t smell right. The odor wasn’t odious enough. No DEET. I looked at the bottle: hairspray. Great, my legs won’t curl in the humidity.

But it could have been worse. There was once a case of mistaken spray-can identity discovered by another unfortunate woman I know of. In a hurry to make her annual ob-gyn appointment on time, she grabbed a slender can from under the bathroom sink, thinking a little feminine hygiene spray might suffice since there was no time to shower. In the exam room, as he began her exam, her doctor looked up at her quizzically and asked, measuring his words carefully, “Been to a party?”

Turns out she’d applied her daughter’s body glitter precisely where she had aimed to refresh.

Comments (3) to “Mix-up”

  1. I don’t know; I kind of like the new look, not that there was anything wrong with the old look. It was a bit of a surprise. Nice to be commenting again. ;->.

  2. I like thenew look as well. SO, did the hairspray deter the pests? Who knows, you may have made a significant scientific (or commercial) discovery!

  3. I don’t know. I thought I’d better wash it off. It felt odd as it dried, as if I’d plasticized myself.

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